champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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