What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
