White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
