you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
