On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
