We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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