Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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