im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
