I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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