I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
