Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
