I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
