How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You ate ashes out of my bong
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
