i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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