I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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