whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
