organizing the empties. That sober.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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