I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
