I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize