And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
