I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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