She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
