Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
