explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
