You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
