**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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