I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
