would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
