Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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