Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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