Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
