so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
