I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
