I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Randomize
