Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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