Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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