i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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