is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
