So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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