That's when you crack a 10am beer
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
