it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
