We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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