OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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