I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
