Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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