i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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