Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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