Farmville is her only friend.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
