I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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