i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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